31-year-old discovers she's been paying rent for two years for an apartment owned by her husband and MIL: '[They] let me keep paying rent for two years like a clueless roommate!'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
May 11, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

When you marry someone, both parties agree to a set of terms and expectations about how they want their lives together to be. Perhaps both parties have decided if they want children, where in the world they want to settle down, and what kind of lifestyle they want. You would think that all cards would be on the table so that all parties involved know what they're getting into for presumably the rest of their lives. However, you would be surprised how many people discover glaring red flags after the fact. 

In this instance, we have a couple who moved into an apartment right after their marriage. The husband claimed they got a good deal through a family member. Both parties agreed to split the rent 50/50 for the time being to avoid any financial imbalance, so the wife was paying her husband $700 a month for the two years they were living there… until she discovered that the "family member" in question was not just a distant relative. It was her entitled mother-in-law, who also happened to own the place.

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  • To make matters worse, this author's husband also had his name on the deed to the apartment the entire time and failed the disclose that pretty crucial information. That kind of secrecy and manipulation this early into their marriage does not exactly bode well for the future. As several members of this online community suggested, we agree that this lady needs to get out of this relationship easily while she still can

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    I (31F) have been married to Brian (33M) for two years. Right after the wedding, we moved into an apartment he said was a "great deal" from a family friend. We
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    agreed to split rent and utilities 50/50 to keep things "equal" since we were starting fresh and wanted to avoid money fights. So I've been sending him $700/month just for the rent this whole time.
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    Three days ago, at a BBQ, I overheard his mom talking about how "it's nice getting rent from Brian's place" and how smart they were to keep it in the family.
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    Turns out his mom own the apartment, and Brian's on the deed too, I had no idea. He never told me. Just let me keep paying rent for two years like a clueless roommate.
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    When I confronted him, he said I "never asked" and that I'm overreacting because we weren't overpaying. But I feel completely blindsided. It's not just the money it's the secrecy.
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    I told him I won't keep paying until we talk about a fair setup. Now he's acting like I'm the problem. AITAH?
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    www.ELJDxpp.pozzARS 100 STATES OFAMERICA STATES Dec DOB LDCD wwwww SHYFIOG BRACTIO SEHAWLS ORNE 87787 NCHED STATES JY 00 LL 34795266P 100 83 D CHE CACEED STEER OF 100 1043
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    eathraerae 2h ago . It's not even that you didn't ask. He said it was a family friend. It wasn't, it was him.
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    NoCap5295. 2h ago Oh wow, your husband does not understand what it is to be married. I'm sorry to say, but he does not trust, respect or love you. Really
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    recommend seeing a counsellor at a minimum, and leaving him as the best option. I'm really sorry.
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    • Fun_Ingenuity2060 2h ago. NTA but girl, I'd be drafting divorce papers in a Lisa Frank notebook because this is giving financial betrayal and mama's boy
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    energy. Like imagine being married, paying rent, and finding out you're the tenant in your own marriage.
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    This man let you roommate his investment property without telling you? That's not just shady, that's premeditated. You didn't marry a husband, you married a landlord with benefits.
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    Inevitable_Pie9541 • 2h ago NTA to be upset specifically because he lied. He said a family friend owned the apartment, and you're both paying that person rent. Not true, your MIL and your husband own it.
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    Him saying "you never asked" is so disingenuous because he told you who owned the apartment, a "friend". Why would you question him further?
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    $700 isn't a lot to kick in for apartment rent, but it's weird that your husband lied about who you were paying. I'd be wondering what else he'd told me that was a lie.
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    changelingcd · 1h ago . Your husband didn't mention he's on the deed and co- owner of the apartment you both live in, and that all the rent goes to him and his mommy? Yep, it's time for one big fight. NTA
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    HotwifeandMama • 2h ago If he said family friend but it's actually his mom, he's been lying to you. What else is he lying about? Things like that destroy trust. Then there's his gaslighting you
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    about you never asked. You shouldn't have had to. He should've volunteered that info. There's no issue with paying the rent, it's the secrecy of the situation. I
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    would probably want couples therapy - to rebuild trust and for him to learn how to openly communicate with you.
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family drama aita marriage AITAH wife marriage-drama husband entitled people karma mother in law karens in the wild family toxic relationship karen entitled people
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